just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
