...so i touched it.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
