Pappa wants mamma naked
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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