Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
