Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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