four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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