There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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