Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
