After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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