Is it normal to miss your booty call?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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