her vagine was all disorganized.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
