Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
