also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
