Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
