Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
