TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
