I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
