I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
