He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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