Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i think i have two assholes
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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