Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
