i already hear my dad disowning me
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
