Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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