shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
