btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
