I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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