So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
