thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
