Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
