So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
