it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
