He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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