my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Are we still banned from the library?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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