Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize