just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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