Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
