i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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