Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I checked into jail on foursquare
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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