singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
