Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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