I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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