HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
