i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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