your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
