Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my shit smells like andre
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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