whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
