no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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