Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid