real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex