I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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