I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I deserve to be covered in dicks
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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