When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I cut my penus on the lid.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
