My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
