Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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