Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
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To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
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I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize