my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
