im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
