I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
