Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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